The Talk
by The Raider
Summary: "You realize that I'm seventeen, right? I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions." Buffy & Angel figure its time to give both Dawn and Connor 'the talk'. Humorous oneshot


**Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any of the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.**

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"Buffy, you know you really don't need to do this." Dawn said, shifting uneasily in her chair. Beside her, Angel's son, Connor, did the same. Both of them didn't want to be here, considering that their guardians had 'interrupted' what they had been in the middle of 'discussing' upstairs. Looking back at her, Buffy didn't smile, although the look she had adopted wasn't an angry one either.

"No, I think we _do_. Mom never had it with you, so I think maybe I should."

"Can you explain why I'm here then?" Connor added, rolling his eyes in the process. Staring back at his son, Angel let the teenager know with his gaze that he wasn't amused.

"You and your mouth were equally a part of what was happening up there." He answered, avoiding the urge to slap the youth upside the head.

"The same goes for you, Dawn."

"You realize that I'm seventeen, right? I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

"And that's exactly why we're having this discussion." Perking up her eyebrow, Buffy folded her hands in her lap as she waited for Angel to start talking. As she waited, everyone sitting at the table was utterly silent.

"Uh, Angel, you wanna start?"

"I thought you were going to?"

"Why me?"

"It's your house." Watching the two guardians argue, Dawn and Connor could barely prevent themselves from laughing. They had seen the two argue before, but over who was simply going to _talk_ first? That in itself was one of the funniest things that either of them had ever seen. Noticing the two teenagers, Buffy made a gesture at the vampire before turning her attention back to the others sitting across the table.

"Alright, enough. This is a serious discussion." She said, setting her hands down on top of the table. "Dawn, Connor, do you realize what could happen if you went…_too far_…with what you two had been doing?"

"Yes, Buffy, we're well-aware of the massive amount of teen pregnancies. That's why we haven't done anything like that."

"Still, are you aware that anything can happen? I mean, when you're…_doing things_…you can think differently, think things that seem to make sense at the time, but they don't when you're…_done."_

"Is there a reason you're being vague with certain words?" Connor asked, his tone lacking any emotion, although Dawn could tell that he was trying to make a joke.

"Because she doesn't want to put thoughts in your head." Angel answered, glaring at the teenager in the process.

"_Really_, what ideas are you thinking that we're having?" Dawn added. As she finished the sentence, she could sense that her sister was beginning to want to throw things at her.

"_Dawn_." Buffy said through gritted teeth.

"What? He asked a good question."

"I wasn't saying th..." The Slayer started before her sister interrupted her.

"Are you trying to tell us not to get more involved because you're worried about having Connor lose his soul? Again, we have no plans to go that far yet."

"You did _not_ just throw the Soul thing in my face."

"I didn't. I'm just asking if you're worried if he'll lose his soul because he's Angel's son." Lying her head down against the table, Buffy groaned in annoyance. _Don't want to kill her, don't want to kill her…_

"That's not what she's saying." Angel said, saving the Slayer from having to answer. "She just wants you two to know that things can go wrong, even with the best intentions in mind."

"Um…Dad, you didn't really clarify what exactly you think we're going to do."

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"Are you trying to say that I'll go evil if we have sex?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying, and you shouldn't be thinking things like that."

"Didn't you tell me once that it was normal for a teenager to think about those things?" Closing his eyes, Angel sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"Alright, this is starting to get ridiculous." Buffy said, raising her head from the table-top and staring at the two teenagers. "We are not trying to comment on anything that has happened to us. We are talking about _you_ two."

"Don't you think that you're over-reacting just a little bit?" Connor asked, unable to keep himself from grinning. Reaching across the table in one-swift motion, the Slayer had slapped the teenager across the top of his head before anyone else at the table could react.

"_Owww_, what was that for?!"

"For being a smart-ass."

"Buffy, come on, you _are_ kinda over-reacting." Blinking for only a moment, Dawn could feel her sister's hand slap against her forehead.

"Oww, come on, stop!"

"Buffy…" Angel started before he found the girl's gaze falling upon him.

"Do you want slapped too?" Being met with only silence, the Slayer turned back towards Dawn and Connor.

"Alright, this discussion is over. Dawn, Connor, you're not allowed to have sex until you're both twenty. End of discussion, go back to your room." Pushing themselves away from the table, the two teenagers exited the room quickly.

"You were kinda over-reacting." Angel said, the only response to the statement being the feeling of her hand slapping against his forehead.


End file.
